How to be a good wedding guest

Most of our advice is aimed at brides and grooms to help them plan their big day. But there are some rules for being a good guest, too! Here are ways you can help the happy couple have a great day.

Send in your RSVPs. You’ve probably already gotten a save-the-date, and you’ve checked your calendar. Most of the time, you know if you can make it to a wedding or not. So don’t put it off – send in your RSVP as soon as you can!

Don’t add a “plus one.” Your invitation should be fairly clear as to who is invited. If you aren’t sure, it’s ok to reach out to the couple or their immediate family for clarification. But don’t assume you can bring a date – or your kids – without a clear invitation.

Arrive to the wedding on time. Which, of course, means early. You should plan to be in your seat 20 minutes before the ceremony is scheduled to start. If that means you have to leave early to avoid traffic, so be it. But you don’t want to upstage the couple by arriving during the ceremony.

Follow the dress code. Dress for the formality of the wedding. A backyard or beach wedding will have a different dress code than a formal religious ceremony. Tradition says wearing all white or all black is a no-no.

Follow the couple’s requests regarding picture taking, social media, and using your phones. Don’t text or blog during the ceremony unless the couple asks you to! If the couple has asked for an “unplugged” ceremony, then leave your phone in your pocket or purse. That being said, if the couple has made it clear they’re happy to have their wedding on Instagram or some other social media site, then share away!

Try to find out answers without asking the couple. Most weddings now have a wedding website you can visit, which will probably have all the answers to all your questions, from hotel rooms to schedule. If you can’t find your answer there, ask the maître d’ at the reception site, the wedding planner or the mother of the bride or groom. Try not to bother the couple themselves, if you can avoid it!

Have fun! Enjoy yourself. Dance, if there’s music. Drink, but not to excess, if there’s a bar. Celebrate!