Thursday, January 16, 2014

Making room for compromise

Every wedding has elements of blending two families, two traditions, into one event. Whether you grew up in the same religious or ethnic background or you’re blending two different cultures, there will always be some compromises that will need to be made. How you handle them might help take some of the stress away from wedding planning.

Communicate with each other. First, discuss your expectations as a couple. What does each of you expect from your ceremony, your reception? Are there traditional elements you are just assuming will happen? This is particularly important if you come from different religious or cultural traditions. Make sure you take the time to explain why a particular tradition is important to you – but also remember to listen to what your other half wants. Find ways to incorporate each of your “most important” elements.

Communicate with your families. Once you’ve made your decisions together, explain to your families what traditions you are sharing – and why. And while some of the discussions may not be easy, it’s definitely better to have them as early as possible. That way, your very-traditional family members will have some time to get used to the idea of a wedding that will be different from what they’re expecting.  

Communicate with your officiant. If you’re having a blended religious ceremony with more than one officiant, make sure both of them are comfortable with sharing the ceremony. If you’re having just one, but taking elements from different traditions, make sure he or she also is aware of how you expect the ceremony to run.

Communicate with your guests. If part of your ceremony is in a different language or some traditions are different from what some of your guests are expecting, help them understand. You can print explanations in a wedding program, have details listed on your wedding website or have your officiant explain different elements of the ceremony.


Really, communication is the key. The more that is discussed and put on the table ahead of time, the easier it will be in the long run.

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