Every wedding has elements of blending two families, two
traditions, into one event. Whether you grew up in the same religious or ethnic
background or you’re blending two different cultures, there will always be some
compromises that will need to be made. How you handle them might help take some
of the stress away from wedding planning.
Communicate with each
other. First, discuss your expectations as a couple. What does each of you
expect from your ceremony, your reception? Are there traditional elements you
are just assuming will happen? This is particularly important if you come from
different religious or cultural traditions. Make sure you take the time to
explain why a particular tradition is important to you – but also remember to
listen to what your other half wants. Find ways to incorporate each of your “most
important” elements.
Communicate with your
families. Once you’ve made your decisions together, explain to your
families what traditions you are sharing – and why. And while some of the
discussions may not be easy, it’s definitely better to have them as early as
possible. That way, your very-traditional family members will have some time to
get used to the idea of a wedding that will be different from what they’re
expecting.
Communicate with your
officiant. If you’re having a blended religious ceremony with more than one
officiant, make sure both of them are comfortable with sharing the ceremony. If
you’re having just one, but taking elements from different traditions, make
sure he or she also is aware of how you expect the ceremony to run.
Communicate with your
guests. If part of your ceremony is in a different language or some
traditions are different from what some of your guests are expecting, help them
understand. You can print explanations in a wedding program, have details
listed on your wedding website or have your officiant explain different
elements of the ceremony.
Really, communication is the key. The more that is discussed
and put on the table ahead of time, the easier it will be in the long run.
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