When the second (or third!) time’s the charm

Planning a second (or third, or beyond) wedding has its own challenges that are different than those of a first-time bride or groom. You’ve already had one wedding, and you worry about how to handle things a second time.

The good news is, like with first-timers, many of the old “rules” are out, and there are no wrong answers! Weddings have become a much more personal expression for the couple getting married.

Should I have a big blowout, or a small, intimate affair? Well, it depends. If you had the big wedding the first time, perhaps you want a more personal event this time. Or, conversely, if you got married on a shoestring budget the first time, perhaps you’re more financially stable and can throw a big party now. Either way, a venue like the Heritage has plenty of choices for all levels of event – as formal or informal as you want.

What should I wear? Even first-time brides are moving away from all white, but if that’s what you want to wear, then go for it. Grooms have it a little easier, and should just dress to match the formality of the wedding itself.

Do I have a shower? Do I register for gifts? Perhaps you’re starting over again and really do need to stock a new house. Or maybe you’re condensing two fully-stocked households and don’t need another set of dishcloths. If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of a wedding registry, then spread it through word of mouth that there isn’t one. And if you don’t like the whole idea of a formal shower, then work with your wedding party to plan a backyard barbecue, night at the casino or no party at all.

Do I get my kids involved? Yes, at the level that they’re comfortable with. You want them to feel included in the new life you’re starting, but you also don’t want to put a lot of pressure on them. Some couples have their kids in the wedding party, if the kids are old enough. Other couples have their kids be part of the ceremony in other meaningful ways. The popular sand unity ceremony becomes even more meaningful when the couple and each of the kids have their own color sand to add to the vase.  Or each of the kids can have a single flower that they present to the couple, making a new bouquet. Be creative, and make it about your new family.

All in all, a second wedding or beyond should be just as important to you, because it’s the first time you are marrying each other. Make it about the two of you, and it will be perfect.