A marriage for the ages

Reading the news this week, I saw this story about a Connecticut couple who’s been married for 81 years. Eighty-one! 

Ann and John Betar’s love story is sweet – but their wedding story is fit for Hollywood! Escaping an arranged marriage, running off with the boy across the street, disapproving relatives.  But somehow, they not only survived it all, but they succeeded!

With a family of loving children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, the Betars have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. We all look to them and their longevity as a goal to achieve.

So, while you agonize over wedding details, keep your eye on the future. Maybe someday the two of you will be the next listed as the longest married couple!

How to deal with other special days, like birthdays, on your wedding day

There are so many details in picking out the right date for your wedding: how much time do you need to plan, what dates are available, when can you get time off from work? So, sometimes, when you pick the perfect day, it matches up with someone else’s important day, like a birthday or anniversary. What do you do?

The best thing to do is acknowledge it. For a loved one’s birthday, you can have a lot of fun with a special cupcake with a candle. Work with your DJ or band ahead of time and have everyone sing “Happy Birthday.” If it’s a child’s birthday, perhaps they get a small gift at their place setting. If you find out that day that it’s someone’s birthday, take a moment to mention it to the DJ or band, they can make a quick announcement. It will make your guest feel special that you’ve taken time to celebrate them, as well.

If it’s another couple’s anniversary, perhaps you can have the DJ or band play their first-dance song. If it’s a song you hate, or it’s just not danceable, it can be played during the dinner hour. If you have many couples, have a spotlight dance for them. Again, the simplest way is to have the DJ make an announcement.

Even taking just five minutes out of your big day will mean a lot to your guests!

Is Fido or Fluffy going to be part of your wedding day? How to deal with pets in weddings

For many couples, their dog, cat or fine feathered friend is the first thing they have shared. Not having their beloved pet as part of their wedding day would just seem wrong. But including your pet adds a few layers of planning!

From Martha Stewart Weddings

Know your pet: If your dog is extremely well-behaved among strangers and always responds well to directions, then having Fido be your ring bearer might just work. But if Spot rarely listens, always jumps on the mailman and has been known to, well, mark his territory; he might not be the best choice to walk you down the aisle.

Know your venue: Will your wedding venue even allow Fluffy to be in the building? Check with your ceremony location far ahead of time. Many churches won’t allow animals to be part of a ceremony; neither will most indoor wedding venues.

Know your guests: Make sure your guests know that Polly will be part of the ceremony. Some guests may be allergic, others may have phobias. Check with all your vendors and your officiant as well.

Have a wrangler: You and your spouse-to-be will be too busy to look after your pet’s every need. Either have a trusted family member look after Lucky, or hire a dog sitter. You’ll need to be sure someone’s watching him the whole time, as well as making sure your pet doesn’t get into food, flowers or decorations that might make him sick.

Practice, practice, practice: Make sure that your pet is part of the rehearsal, and if you expect her to wear a cute hat, shirt or bow tie, then let her wear it often around the house. If Fluffy keeps getting free of her costume, you might need to re-think your plan.

My pet’s not allowed. What can I do? For many reasons, your pet may not be able to be part of the ceremony itself, but you still want him as part of your day. Have your pet sitter bring him to your wedding photo location for a few pictures. Nothing makes you go “awww” quite so much as a sweet picture with you and your pet. Again, make sure your photographer and the location know that your pet is coming. Even if you spend only a few minutes with Rex or Whiskers, the pictures will last a lifetime.

No, really, our pet won’t behave for any of that. What can we do? Maybe you know that Bandit won’t behave for any amount of treats, or you have an unusual pet that just won’t work around many people. So, have your pet be the theme for your wedding. Have pictures of Rover on the invitations, or silhouettes of Sparky on your table numbers. Keep a picture at the gift table or wear a picture in a locket. 

Which is better: band or DJ?

It’s the age-old question -- what entertainment do you want at your reception: a live band or a DJ spinning the tunes? As with most decisions for your wedding day, it depends on how you want your reception to feel and how much money you want to spend.

Are you having a theme to your reception? If you plan on having a Jazz Age wedding, or want to swing dance the night away, a live band will give you that “feel” much more than a DJ can. On the other hand, if you want to dance to house music all night, a DJ will spin those tunes better than any band could recreate.

Variety is the spice of life: A band’s repertoire could be limited, depending on the number of songs they already know, while a DJ isn’t even limited to the records he can carry in a milk crate anymore.  On the other hand, a band can tailor the songs to a particular group – self-editing any strong language from a song or taking the tempo down for a slower dance.

Size matters: The bigger the band, the more it will cost, generally. Plus, you will have to feed more people in a band than the DJ and maybe his assistant. A band will also take up more room in your reception venue. Make sure your space can handle the seven-piece band and the Photobooth.

Personality is key: No matter which you choose, make sure you sit down with your entertainment and go over exactly how you want the reception to go. Make sure they have your “must play” songs as well as your “absolutely not ever” songs. Get to know the bandleader or the DJ and be sure that you’ll enjoy their style as they lead your family and friends through your reception.